Plan: a nice quiet Friday night

(Original post date: 9/20/09)

... and now: the reality of Friday night:

4:00 p.m.
Liam, lying flat on his back in our pebble pit under the swings: "Mom, I'm a seal!"
Me: "Oh..."

4:15 p.m.
Liam, calling out from under the climbing wall: "Mom, can you get this out?"
Me, used to having to remove big buggers: "What is it? Do you need a Kleenex?"
Liam: "It's a rock bugger."
Me: "Really?
Liam, with a big grin, nods his head.
Me: "Will, need your flashlight!"
Me, after confirming rock bugger: "Why did you put a rock up your nose?"
Liam, with a big grin: "I'm a seal!"
Me, confused.

4:25
Me, after being unable to find a small crochet hook: "OK, everyone in the car!"
Will: "We're going to Dr. Mueller's for a lollipop!"
Me: "No, Dr. Mueller is gone for the day. We're going to the hospital to have the rock removed from Liam's nose."
Liam: "I want to go see Dr. Mueller!"
Me: "Sorry honey we're going the emergency room and Dr. Mueller will not be there, neither will her lollipops."

4:30
On the way to the hospital, following the directions on the GPS. I had pre-programmed the hospital as a favorite a few months ago.

A sampling of Will & Liam's chat, while I'm trying to control a big case of giggles in the front seat, listening to this exhange:
Will: "So, Liam, why did you put a rock up your nose?"
Liam: "I'm a seal."
Will: "I put a peanut up my nose one time, but Mom got it out. I didn't have to go to the hospital."
Liam: "Do you have a peanut up your nose now, Will?"
Will: "No, I never did that again. And you shouldn't put a rock up your nose again, Liam."
Liam: "Oh."

4:45
Arrive at ER. On a scale of 1 - 5, 1 being trauma, we are judged as a 4. (Liam was quite normal, breathing just fine.) Watched Nemo 1 1/2 times in the children's waiting area, Purelling like mad.

6:30 p.m. Bill rescues Will from the boredom and takes him home for dinner.

7:20
Nurse,in the exam room: "Liam, why are you here?"
Liam, suffering post-traumatic stress from the flu shot earlier in the week: "Don't hurt me! No band-aids!"
Nurse exits.

7:25
Me, with a sudden thought: "Liam, there is just one rock in your nose, right?"
Liam, looking at me out of the corners of his eyes: "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, Mom!"
Me: "Liam, how many really? Just one?"
Liam, with that grin of his: "Two Mom."
Me: "REALLY?"
Liam, nods and holds two fingers up.

7:30
Liam, finding the call button: "What's this Mom?"
Me: "That's how you call the nurse."
Liam, talks into the call button: "I need a nurse... I said, I need a nurse!... Did it work Mom?"
Me, hardly able to control myself at this point: "I don't know. Maybe you need to call the doctor."
Liam,again talking into the call button: "Doctor, I need a nurse!"

7:35
Doctor: "Liam, what happened?"
Liam: "I put a rock in my nose."
Doctor: "Why did you do that?"
Liam: "I'm a seal."
Me: "When he was a dog last spring, I did the Heimlich maneuver to get the rocks out of his throat."
Doctor: "Ohhhh.... this procedure should be less traumatic. Let's have a look Liam."
Liam obediently tipped his head back.
Doctor: "Liam, you have a rock in your nose."
Liam proudly nodded.

7:40
Liam, with his Superman cape on, (a very clever straight-jacket of sorts: pillowcase behind him with both arms inside so that when he was on the bed he couldn't move his arms)
Doctor, starting procedure: "You're doing great Liam. We're going to take that rock out now."
After a little work with the big tweezers, and a little yelling from Liam, a rock came out. (I wouldn't have gotten it with my crochet hook.)
Doctor, taking his head light off: "It's out Liam."
Me: "I think you should take another look, just to make sure there aren't two."
Doctor, putting his light back on: "Oh yeah, that's right."
Liam, hearing me and seeing the light come back on, "There's only one,Mom! MOM, THERE'S ONLY ONE!"
Doctor, taking his head light off: "You're right, Liam. Only one."

8:00
...back home, finally, the beginning of a nice quiet Friday night